How soon is too soon?

There are so many views and perspectives out there regarding how soon is too soon to date after splits-ville.  There are some of us who claim to mourn the relationship while in it and it's crashing and burning, so by the time it's over, we're ready to move on.   There are others who who say they need a year and then after one year of alone time, they are ready.

Is there a right answer to this question?    I have to admit, I mourned my marriage for years while in it.  Hence the anti-depressants, sleeping ills and over consumption of wine.    I did everything I could to deny and ignore the reality I knew to be true.  Once I woke up, it was long over.    No more mourning.  No more sadness.   Rather, the work began on trying to understand how I allowed it to happen, why I allowed a person like this in to my life and the lives of the people I loved.

So I ponder - is there a right answer to this question?    I wonder what the ladies from Sex in the City say about this subject?    Well we know what Samantha would say :)

My thoughts are that it's very personal - but do wonder if there is a "rule of thumb" out there.

In the meantime, peace and clarity to all,

Namaste,

Hovering over the button

Well, here I am August 11 - a day after my 46 birthday, and 6 days until my ex-husband moves out of my house.   It's been a long.... like really long haul to get us here.    Painful to be quite frank.     That said the impending freedom is liberating as hell.    

Hence the name of this post.    I liken it to my hand hovering over a button - like on Jeapardy - and the minute I hit it, I'll know I've won.

You see, I can't get the guy thing right.   Never could.    Oh don't worry, I'm in some deep therapy to make sure this never happens again.    I first told him I wanted out last November (2012), he convinced me to do therapy - which was bogus.   I don't think either of us really wanted to be there.  I mean we missed an appointment and neither of us picked up a phone to reschedule.   It just died on the vine.     By February of this year, it was over.    For me anyway, which from my perspective, is all that matters.

Long story short, and tons of mediation and lawyers, we are six days away.   And I cannot be more thankful to be here.    And as I sit here on a Sunday night (seems to be my creative night), I wonder how many other people are stuck in marriages, they don't want to be in, and can't figure out how to get out of.    

I have to say, it's a hell of a lot of work, emotional stress, and money to get out of it.    But I am ready to hit that button next Saturday, oh and of course pay the locksmith, and buy an amazing bottle of champagne, and will enjoy every minute of the freedom I will feel - and give thanks to the divorce Gods for finally getting me to the end of this nightmare.

If you are reading this and feel you need to chat, I'm here for ya.    It would be my pleasure to help a fellow human find peace and tranquility within themselves and their own lives.

 Namaste,